MEDFORD, Ore. - "Two men accused of trying to rob someone at knifepoint were arrested when they returned to get their car while officers were interviewing witnesses."
That is the verbatim lede of an April 1 Associated Press story, and it describes men so dumb it's really not worth writing about them a'tall.
The men went unnamed in the piece. Their ages are nineteen and twenty; no pictures accompanied the AP report, so we'll never know, alas, if the young men were handsome enough to excuse, or at least make palatable, their alarming injudiciousness.
The AP report does note that when the men returned to collect the car, they wore different clothes than those they'd worn when pulling a knife on a man leaving a convenience store. This suggests either that the men are dimwitted enough to believe that changing clothes constitutes adopting a disguise, or that they are fashion-conscious enough to feel the need to wear at least two distinct ensembles in a day.
If the latter, this should be considered a mitigating circumstance. Perhaps the men's lawyer could appeal to the judge for leniency on the grounds that a requirement to wear prison orange is simply an insult to young men who care so much about dressing stylishly.