Wednesday, March 16, 2011

The Friendly Skies (Toying With the Paradigm Division)

UP IN THE AIR--Somewhere along the way, Southwest Airlines policy evidently encompassed encouraging flight crews to insert little bits of inanity into the standard safety announcement at the beginning of each flight. 
   Or maybe it had nothing whatever to do with corporate policy. Maybe the crews just got bored and decided to amuse passengers while informing them of the hundreds of ways to fool themselves that they might somehow survive in the event of a catastrophic crash. 
   Either way, the announcements offer some unexpected delights. Take the one on Flight 2717, from San Francisco to San Diego, yesterday. 
   After making reference over the P.A. to "designer oxygen masks," the flight attendant said, "If you are traveling with a child, or someone who acts like one, with the release of the masks be sure to put one on your husband first, then put on your own." 
   She then alerted passengers that "your lovely flight attendants are coming through the cabin to be sure your shoes match your outfits, and also that your seats are in their upright and most uncomfortable position," and next thanked them for "pretending to give us your attention." 
   She concluded, "We are now going to lower the lights in order to enhance the beauty of your traveling companion." 
   It is always nice to have a chuckle before dying in a fiery crash, we think, or is that just our dislike of flying shining through? 

UPDATE: Our brother, in Los Angeles, reminded us of this--another example of Southwest Airlines crew whimsy: 

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