Tuesday, March 2, 2010

The Joys of Holy Matrimony (False Alarm Division)

   A handful of devious souls - no one yet knows how many - set up a Web site advertising a fake bridal show, to be held at Boston's Hynes Convention Center, and bilked thousands of individual bridal enthusiasts and bridal-merchandise vendors out of many, many, many dollars, the Associated Press reported yesterday.
   The site, Boston 411 (which disappeared from the Inter-nets Monday night), advertised a Spring Home and Bridal Show. Registering couples were charged between ten and fifteen dollars, with the promise that they would "receive a welcome bag of goodies and... be entered for a chance to win fabulous gifts and prizes!" 
   Human nature is funny, and trust is the imperative that keeps us all from killing each other (though not from making fun of each other from time to time). Still, a person who falls for any pitch that includes the phrase "fabulous gifts and prizes" could be said to be getting what's coming to him. The exclamation point alone should have been a tip-off. 
   Authorities told the AP that vendors paid up to $4,000 to participate in the (non-)event, which the phony Web site described as "New England's biggest and most extravagant Bridal Show!" 
   See? Another exclamation point. And capitalizing "bridal show" - is that not, right there, criminal behavior? 
   But the con-people, you understand, know their audience. Few are those as enthused as those about to enter into holy matrimony. They are a bilkable lot. Gays and lesbians eager to marry should take note. 
   On the other hand, for those who, in these desperate economic times, are in search of sure-fire ways to get rich, same-gender marriage provides perfect front-end and back-end opportunities. Study to become: a.) a wedding planner; or b.) a divorce lawyer. 

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