Crime of the Century (Gallant "Straight" "Man" Division)

NEW YORK, New York (THE TOWN SO NICE THEY NAMED IT TWICE), March 11 - A heterosexual "man" whose come-on - no doubt clever and witty - was rebuffed by a woman allegedly followed her into a bar's bathroom stall and beat her unconscious, the Associated Press reported today. 
   The man also is thought to have raped the woman, whom the Associated Press doesn't name; it is AP policy not to reveal the identities of victims of what they call "sexual assault." 
   The woman, who is twenty-nine, was discovered in the stall by a friend who at first thought she might have fallen. She  was hospitalized with a broken eye socket and jaw, and other injuries. When she regained consciousness at the hospital, she told workers there that she had been attacked. 
   The physical and sexual molestation - "incident" is too soft a word, don't you think? - happened at roughly two a.m. at a three-story bar/lounge called Social. 
   The "man" is at large. He may have injured his hand during the time he was acting out his sexual frustration on the woman; a video camera mounted across the street from the bar captured a "man" thought to be him walking away from the bar, examining his hand. 
   It is lucky for the "man" that he is "straight," because that qualifies him to marry, inasmuch as marriage, as an institution, is thought by many solely to be a union between a man and a woman. When he finds the right woman, he will make an ideal husband. 
   Gays and lesbians keen to marry should take note. 
             --30--


NOTE (March 12, 2010): This story is updated here.